When Liz and I moved to Memphis we agreed that we’d give it a year before we made any kind of decision on the permanence of the move. That year past much faster than either of us expected. With effort, I am finding and building a sense of home in Tennessee.
Not this week.
I’m in Eugene for work this week. In Eugene I am straddling two different worlds; the pacific familiarity of Eugene and the invigorating unknown future of life just a few miles east of the Mississippi. The more I think about it the more I know I shouldn’t be thinking about it because this is exactly the kind of thing I can get wrapped up in. Did we make the right choice moving to Memphis? Etc, etc. Wrapped up in and subsequently taken on the roller-coaster of self-doubt, regret, humiliating self-pep-talks in front of a hotel mirror, and the inevitable return to my punk-kid nature that says “fuck it, I’ll trust myself, do whatever the hell I want and not care about what could have been.” I figure, I might as well just start from that viewpoint and save myself the energy.
So I’m here working my butt off taking photos of new and old friends and diving up to my elbows in some really interesting (for me) hardware challenges at work. I am lucky to have such ready access to two pursuits; both being part passion and profession, that help me find beauty and order in the world and in my own mind and heart. It’s nice to realize that even when my mind can’t sort through it all, I’m here (wherever I might be) for the right reasons, doing the right things.
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